Thursday, April 28, 2011
LACUNA, Goddess of Amnesia
She consumed me. All those years of who I was. A child here, a sister there. A brother somewhere with whom I grew up. Whole years erased but never quite. She left me crumbs to follow like dream fragments too frail to survive the day. Memories like stones thrown down a deep well. The muffled sound of them as they hit the black water at the bottom. The ripples caressing my skin with the possibility of being remembered. The lovers I misplaced, their outlines vague like objects in a fog. All those times I made love and wished it dead. She was always there, a presence in the wings, with her great maw open to swallow the one I left, when I metamorphosed into another who had never been there. Never being long in one place back then, being one with another human.. Always hovering over life, never making a landing long enough to feel anything deeply enough to make me stay. I whirled through my life like a cyclone, casting out all those I professed to love. Fragments of my history flying out all around me as if I’d never existed. She swept them all up, the shards of those selves I left behind. She buried them deep in caverns like firmaments filled with the whisperings of ghosts.Dressed in her white robes, empty eyes gazing out of her blank face, there is nothing of her I can hold . Nothing of her I can touch. She is Lacuna, the Goddess of Amnesia, and I am her forgotten child.
Posted by Marlene Azoulai at 1:08 PM