CRUCIBLE

(assemblage sculpture)

LACUNA, Goddess of Amnesia

(assemblage sculpture)

She consumed me. All those years of who I was. A child here, a sister there. A brother somewhere with whom I grew up. Whole years erased but never quite. She left me crumbs to follow like dream fragments too frail to survive the day. Memories like stones thrown down a deep well. The muffled sound of them as they hit the black water at the bottom. The ripples caressing my skin with the possibility of being remembered. The lovers I misplaced, their outlines vague like objects in a fog. All those times I made love and wished it dead. She was always there, a presence in the wings, with her great maw open to swallow the one I left, when I metamorphosed into another who had never been there. Never being long in one place back then, being one with another human.. Always hovering over life, never making a landing long enough to feel anything deeply enough to make me stay. I whirled through my life like a cyclone, casting out all those I professed to love. Fragments of my history flying out all around me as if I’d never existed. She swept them all up, the shards of those selves I left behind. She buried them deep in caverns like firmaments filled with the whisperings of ghosts.Dressed in her white robes, empty eyes gazing out of her blank face, there is nothing of her I can hold . Nothing of her I can touch. She is Lacuna, the Goddess of Amnesia, and I am her forgotten child.

c.MarleneAzoulai2011

ESPRIT DE CORPS

Self-Portrait
(assemblage sculpture)

SEEING THROUGH BLUE

Self-Portrait
April 18, 2011

MENTAL DIS-ORDER

There’s a dividing line
We’re on the other side
There’s a different gravity here
The air is thicker
or is it thinner?
Ghosts wrap you in their wings
or are they angels?
There are voices all around
Are they inside
or outside?

We’ve all got scars here
Miles of red rivers, crimson like sin
Bodies pass us by
floating bloated on the red rivers
The ones we killed
or wanted to kill
The ones who got killed
who died on us while we weren’t looking
The ones we thought died
who rose again from the dead
Loss and fear so deep in our eyes
we’re afraid to look at ourselves
afraid we’ll fall in

All our words floating by
on red rivers
Words stretched out of shape
distended
puffed-up
over-used
overrated
overexposed
words
like pain
like sadness
like love
sick
stoned
empty
words
What we’re supposed to say
want to say, can’t say
don’t know how to say
are afraid to say.
Words like broken windows
in vacant houses, screaming

Invent something, will you?
Another way of
telling it.



c.copyright Marlene Azoulai2003

BABY KALI

(detail of assemblage sculpture)

SYMBIOSIS

(detail of assemblage sculpture)

QUEEN OF SKULLS

SHE HEARS THE SINGING OF THE BONES

(detail of assemblage sculpture)

SNAKE JESUS

(assemblage sculpture)

MOTHER AND CHILD REUNION

(mixed media work in progress)

SPLIT-SCREEN

(mixed media on paper)