(oil pastel drawing by mimi, an alter who is 5 years old)

This morning, I was writing in my journal about how I had awakened, feeling too frail to live in the world. About the pain of feeling like the world was always trying to pin me down. How vulnerable I felt---like a small child.
It was then I remembered my dream from last night---I saw woman go into the woods with a butterfly net. This made me very sad. Why try to capture such beauty, I asked my self? Why not just let it be? The woman came back with an indigo colored butterfly. Its wings were the most amazing hue---a deep purple blue. I asked her if she was going to pin the butterfly to a board. She said that no, she would just put it to sleep temporarily, allow it to wake up, and then she would set it free again. I thought this was a strange thing for her to do.
The child I was and still am does feel frail, like she’s made out of rice paper. Like the wonder of her could so easily be captured and pinned down, as it once was. I am the woman who has kept the child’s beauty safe within her, asleep. And now, the time has come to release her. To free the indigo butterfly…